Monday, April 18, 2011

Transformation

I just love keeping this list and counting the blessings. This list that counts to one thousand has been HUGE for me and such a victory. Discontentment defined me most of my years and true joy always seemed so far out of reach. Funny how this world normalizes the cravings for more, bigger and better, always promising that our latest and greatest success is just around the corner. My story is far from unique and unique was what I was striving for more than anything. Years spent looking for my next fix...a new house, new clothes, a more youthful complexion, a smaller size, more praise, people who understood how hard I was trying,, validation, validation, validation...(I am exhausting myself just remembering it) but boy how hard I fought to own my image and suffocate who I was created in Christ to be. The irony is that the "self" image I worked so hard to create and control never behaved, never knew peace and ultimately brought me broken and tired to the Cross.
It has been a grossly imperfect path as I surrender my "self" over and over again so that His light can shine and I can become a new creation. Now that I know Him the less concerned I am with me and the more freedom I feel to be still and not overmanage, overcontrol and overwhelm myself with expectations (can i get an amen?). He has worked miracles in my life over the last couple of years and this once lost and always striving girl can now count and count and count, giving thanks to the One who saved her from her self with his perfect sacrifice.

Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.
John 12:25

195- Jellybean cookies
196- Putting together puzzles
197- boys wrestling and wrestling and giggling with the puppy
198- long walks with silly boy conversations
199- crazy green leaves on trees
200- wind blowing through the crazy green leaves on trees
201- Mexican food
202- silly stories from girlfriends
203- mint chocolate chip ice cream
204-baptism of boy's friends
205- funny songs in children's church
206- boys keeping their own lists and how good they are at it
207- big hugs
208- holding hands with my littlest (his hand is just yummy)

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The Joy Project 40

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