Home

So here are the rules for 5 minute Friday straight from thegypsymama.com

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Go buck wild with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

Home took on a whole new meaning the day that my father left. I was twenty-six years old, newly married and living in a different state but I loved going home.

My parents marriage had been tense and distant for many years but when I stepped into their home, I had hope.

Hope that change and a renewal of love and sacrifice was possible.

Hope that my presence, my brother and sister's presence, all of us being together and remembering better days would be enough. 

So when he left and did not turn back and moved into a new home with a new family, my 26 year old self had to accept that home would never feel the same...at least not in the way I craved and sometimes still do. 

Several years later, we welcomed home a 5lb 15 oz baby boy  and my life began to shake and shiver. I remember walking him through the doors of each room in our house and the way that hope and fear settled deeply into my bones. I was full of joy and scared to death.

This was a love I did not know and the walls that I had built to protect myself from hurting, believing, hoping began to reveal so many flaws.

And the more unsteady I became, the more I tried to control, the more I could feel Him pointing me towards  my Heavenly father and my real home.

And at home one night, sitting in an overstuffed chair, desperate with tears that seemed to stream forever, I opened my hands and received a new life, a new hope and a new forever home.